When you’re building a new home in the Poconos, a lot of your attention will be focused on the house itself. That’s good, because there are a lot of details that demand your attention. But the homebuilding process can also add a little stress to your interpersonal relationships. Some people find that building a home can actually cause a few stress fractures in their relationships.

In fact, it’s a common enough occurrence that it inspired a recent Houzz survey of homeowners in 10 countries (Australia, Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Russia, Spain, Sweden, United Kingdom and the United States) to see if they could identify some of the issues and offer help to relieve stress. You can check out some of what these couples learned by clicking here.

One of the main stress triggers among couples is running into unfulfilled expectations during the homebuilding process. Sometimes that comes about when you and your spouse have differing expectations that have never been expressed.

Here’s something that can help in that situation. Before you even begin looking at floor plans or finishes, each of you should write down your expectations: what’s really important to you. To make it specific enough to be helpful, you might want to organize your thoughts by rooms of the house. What are the things that are really important to you for each room? (By the way, you could include areas such as the yard and the garage as well.) Then prioritize those items under categories such as: “Must-Have,” “Nice-to-Have” and “Splurge.” You could create a kind of chart that looks something like this:

Each person should do this independently, then come together and talk about what you have written down. Be as specific as possible about what you want or need. Discuss the budget implications.

After you’ve discussed things adequately, create a new chart that summarizes the things you’ve agreed on. Then you can start looking at floor plans to see which ones offer you the basic design that will accomplish your objectives. Then you can sit down with your builder to hammer out the details for making those things happen. More than likely, you’ll want to make changes to the original floor plan. At Liberty, we want to create your perfect home! If you don't like something or would like it to be different, we can fix, adjust or redesign your home floor plan to suit your needs! It’s part of what makes working with Liberty a little different.

Getting your expectations out in the open—and down on paper—can go a long way in reducing some of the stress of the homebuilding process. Don’t let building a new home take a wrecking ball to your relationship. Work together (and with your builder) to build the home of your dreams!